Please.... I beg.

tut

so here how it goes, you know what, i'm so tired of everything i'm here just a few miles from him and i can't even see he's face. for god sake it takes me 3FUCKIN HOURS to get here. its okay, maybe i just miss him so much and i get sensitive though .

still........... i just wanna see his face i don't go sitting like a total idiot for 3 hours in a fuckin mini bus contain strangers for nothing.

well i finally decided to just having fun. in fact NO FUN AT ALL , i mean i have fun its just not like that.

i was here for him at the first place, but i didn't blame him .

cause he didn't ask me to come here at the first place, i went here by my own thought .

but but but .. i don't know why everything just sound not right .

now i put my headset on, and plugged the aux to my phone repeating Give Me Everything - Pitbull Ft. Ne-yo cause i can imagine his face singing this song.

well he did sing thing song on our way home after incredible3 , i never picture my self as a Pitbull fans . but i just love this song so much .

hahaha Pitbull sure can pull he sexy outta this song . and ne-yo's voice is so cute and sexy too.

well i was staring at him when he sing this song thats why i pretty much still can playback that one.

today im goin home .. well tomorrow mowningg?! or afternoon.

well i was thinking theres no change too meet him at all.

until when i we up in sunday morning and i bbm him as usual.

i didn't expect him to reply, i was too disappointed to wish .

then again suddenly he said he had time to meet me. it was a shocked ......

i run to my pretty little shorty aunty . and rush her to take a bath...

HE'S FUCKIN WAITING DUDE!! COMMON RUSH A BIT!!!

and we are finally on our way . my fuckin aunty give rules, that she want me to go alone meet him..... like serious?! im so fckin nervous ... when we arrived there i saw his white jazz...

and that tweddledee and tweddledummer VANISH ALREADY.

now its on my own , when i get to his car window , he was on the phone with.... well i don't know, puh-lezz i was to nervous to think.

but i was so happy seeing him there ...... i felt like...... oh my god ... finally ... after 54 hours of running 'round his town .

we started some conversation as usual he's guard is up ..... but one thing hurt me more than anything that second... finding out that he had someone else.... well just make it two.

you know what that i feel back there.... gashed. devastated . felt like just been stab..

i hold my tears for minutes .. my biggest willingness to cry at the day. but i cant cry there.

well........... i got thru that....... i can hold my tears down.

he gave us a ride home .. and that tweddltwins is out . i still wanna talk to him .. but that fuckin police... well security ... or whoever that man is ruined my moment of truth .

FOR THE LOVE OF THE GOD PLEASE SIR ... IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!!!

well thank god i gave him the PIECE OF PROVE . the flash disk.

so i get out of his car run in .... go upstairs and cry my ass out.

i never hold my tears that long in my life .. seriously it hurt so bad but i have to let go.

if its his happiness i'm fine ..... i'm okay .

i bought ticket to go back home right away .... and well i leave around 4 . bye bandung. thankyou for the chance ...

this is 58 hours adventure of life. the first time i travel alone ..

i put my headset on again ... started with all the jam again... just try not to cry .

half way there , i check my phone . and suddenly theres a message .....

from: HIM

" Div............ this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever gave me"

shoot my i'm out of phone credit acc ...... then again the second one .

from: HIM

"Omg diva...... This is so sweet of you......... You made me cry"

i was overjoyed .... and the last one is encouraging me to jump and go back.

from: HIM

" I trust you div, I always trusted you.... And that was amazing ........ Where are you? I really need to see you........"

GOD DAMN IT! i'm on my fuckin way home .

but it such a relieve, that i finally prove it .... this 3 days doesn't waste.

i love you ..... as long as i breath ....... may not be eternally ...... but all my life

i hope you'll come back ...

8.11.2009

i'll be here .........

-me

REBLOG

salah ya kalo seorang cewe nangis garagara cowo?gak cuman cewe doang deh cowo juga,slah ya nangis? gue rasa nangis itu gasalah,apalagi yang nangis itu mahluk selembut cewe,se-tomobytomboy-nya cewe,dia tetep cewe.
Kadang ada cowo yang gasuka ngeliat cewe nangis tapi justru lo bisa liat sifat asli cewe waktu dia nangis ,karna kalo cewe nangis tandanya dia udh gak kuat lagi tandanya dia udh cape.
Nangis itu normal its healing your feeling itmakes you feel better,kalo lo mau nangis ya nangis aja supaya lega supaya ganyesek kalo lomau teriakteriak sambil nangis ya lakuin aja just do it !! jangan takut lo gaush perduli kalopun seleruh dunia bilang lo cengeng tapi nangis itu melegakan nangis itu bikin lo lebih tenang nangis itu salahsatu cara yang paling enak buat nyalurin perasaan lo !so just do it !
Kalo seorang cewe nangis dalem pelukan cowo tandanya cewe iti udh percaya banget sama lo tandanya cewe ini percaya banget sama lo entah sebagai apa dia nganggep lo.
Kalo cewe nangis di peluka seorang cewe tandanya cewe itu adalah sahabat sejatinya.
Sama aja cowok juga gitu,apalagi cowok mahluk yang paling jarang melakukan kegiatan menangis kalo sampe seorang cowo itu sampe bisa nangis dihadapan seorang cewe tandanya ya cowo itu benerbener udh percaya banget sma cewe itu kalo cwo nangis dihadapan cowo laen ada tapi gue jarang menemukan kyk gtu intiny sh sama tandnya lo shbt sejatinya.
Jadi yang namanya nangis itu gapernah salah bego lo kalo gasuka ngeliat dia nangis depan lo harusnya lo beruntung karna tandanya di beneran syg bgt sama lo !
So if you wanna cry just do it cause cry is never wrong I know its not solving problem but its healing you heart and soul it makes you stronger ! Whenever it is just do it

RE-BLOG

jadi malem ini kita ngebahas tentang LDR alias long distance relationship.
ya dan yang kita dapetin adalah .
ternyata ngejalanin LDR itu gak gampang selain karna terpaut jarak yang jauh juga kurangnya komunikasi diantara dua orang ini yang bikin LDR ini jadi makin sulit .
kalo kita mau berhasil sama yang namanya LDR yaaa yang kita butuhin sih cuman satu yaitu PERCAYA .
gak lupa juga dilengkapi hal hal yang lain kayak saling ngertiin aja satu sama lain.
kebanyakan orang itu LDR garagara salah satunya tiba-tiba pindah.
nah ada juga yang
emang dari awal pacaran udah LDR .
kalo masalah yang pertama itu biasanya gak bertahan garagara rasa kurang percaya sama kurang komunikasinya juga ,yang biasanya seminggu 2 kali ketemu sekarang cuma bisa kayak 2 bulan sekali ato bahkan 6 bulan sampe 1tahun sekali.
itu juga bikin komunikasi antara keduanya jadi kurang karna merasa ato tidak merasa yang namanya ngobrol di telpon sama tatap muka itu punya efek yang beda juga .
untuk nanganin masalah kayak gini cuma satu caranya
sama sama ngerti dan berfikir dewasa jangan egois sendiri dan untuk yang ketiga kalinya gue bilang PERCAYA itu pnting banget .
kalo masalah yang kedua emang agak susah sih buat dipertahankan.
cuma jangan pesimis selalu ada kesempatan.
biasanya masalah yang kayak gini kan berarti jarang tatap muka.
malahan gapernah ngalamin saat dimana nyaris tiap hari tatap muka jadi mungkin kita emang ngerti pasangan kita cuma kita gak sepenuhnya ngerti dia kadang yang kayak masalah pertama aja suka bnyak yg kurang ngerti satu sama lain.
makanya sama aja samasama harus bersikap dewasa jangan egois.
so intinya cuma satu sebenernya TRUST and DONT BE CHILDISH .
intinya PERCAYA dan JANGAN KAYAK ANAK KECIL .
coba bersikap dewasa.
thanks for reading .

how it is goes

here how it goes.

waiting is never easy, time and place is always been a problem for me.

space between us feels like more than just space.

i don't care how far you stand from where i stand.

if its too far i don't mind.

all matters is where's your heart stands now?

you're here. you're there

you said once that you love me and now you just don't

you cast words, sounds like promises but they're not

you push me down, you cause me wound, but its not your fault

you care but then you don't

it feels like you are here sometimes.

but the rest gone with the time that flew so fast with no boundaries and no line

time didn't go reverse,and that machine to turn back just doesn't exist

just go if you're willing to go.

stay if you want to.

be here when you are supposed to be here.

and leave me when you choose to.

you are stuck and haunted by the ghost of my past. why just don't despite that fact.

stick to what you said and do the same.

don't say stay, if you are leaving

and don't say bye if you are staying.

i'm so fed up with all your revenge.

but my feet doesn't move anywhere.

i'm so tired with you but my heart doesn't stop believe in you.

can't you see?talking to you doesn't felt the same anymore.

where did you left your old self, just let me go and take it back.

i'm sorry for being so over-whelming .

i'm sorry if somehow i'm covered with selfishness.

but i just need you to be honest and answer me.

and then i'm done ...

hair tragedy

hey im gonna tell you a story about 'the hair tragedy' so first of all astrd come and visit my house . studying . for 2morow exam , than after a while we learn we take a break .
so it started out like this .
gue nyuruh astrd buat ngambilin gunting di lemari buat gunting benang kelebihan di jaket ss gue kan , and then gue iseng gue pura-pura aja gunting rambutnya si astrd terus ya dia teriak2 dan tibatiba "jrrkk" itu bunyi jelas banget gue denger rambut terpotong .......
gue diem aja belaga pilon .
pas gue ajak dia ke kamar sebelah dia benerin rambutnya dan . terenenenenenet disitulah sejumput rambut yaa lumayan panjang lah jatuh di tangannya .
dan astrd langsung histeris . dia teriak teriak kayak abis kebakaran jenggot . terus dia banting dirinya ke tempat tdr . terus dia berdiri lagi , terus dia ke pintu lemari nangis sambil ketawa . anjir cacat kasian .
pas dia jalan ke arah tempat tdr , dia menemukan 2 jumput rambut juga panjangnya sama tebel lg =_= kasian bgt yah dia .
alhasil kita kejar-kejaran, abisnya dia mau bales.
dengan segala ke-kerenan gue akhirnya gue mengalah secara sportif .
rambut gue dipotong juga sama dia .
memang dialah liyong paling brengsek kesayangan gue .
eh cina kalo lo baca posting ini jangan nangis ya wkwkw .
abisnya kasian nih cinpay :*
anyway gue udh jadi your life savior kan :) so byebye

FADHLI NOVIANDI ♥

heyyo blogeey .
well today im gonna tell you about my new boyfie his name is FADHLI NOVIANDI .
and for you information i love him so much .if im not i will never post him in my blog .
im sorry if this information is out from the topic but well, i just got new internet connection at ma house .
may im gonna blogging more often than before.
back to my boy , well today is saturday and he is w/ his family in PUNCAK, so yesterday he couldnt come , he used to go to my cribs at friday evening . but yesterday he's not .
so.......... i miss him like hell . he's such a goof ball, he made me laugh all the time.
i love this kind a light relationship haha
i dont know what happen but its never stops raining in here .
god ... wanna get out , well i know national exam is on monday but i wanna meet my friends . well im not the typical of person who could hangin all day long w/ all those text book . i'll go nuts if i did .
so well sometimes i really really wanna punch my boy right on his face but its just an expresion i dont really wanna do that . i love him .
well he's being sucks .right now .
hahaha but i love him anyway so bye imma go to my bed lay my self havin fun bye :*

teen oh teen

hello its me and my unimportant post again and again . well i dont have any topic to post but i really really wanna post something . so my randomness is continue ,but then again just listen to my teen story . yeayea teen so unstable and full of things that you will never expected , our mind is so different , we have our own kind of way to think . that you'll never gonna understand cause our mind is more complicated than math . speakin about math i just done my math exam yesterday witchis extremely hard .and complicated i just cant remember one damn formula and theres a lot for final exam . alot to remember , again today i just finish well physic and its nothing easier . this week really blow my head off .
but still continueing next week non stop UAN subject only . school . full time . can i burn my school please? but i just cant wait to get to high school . tomorrow is April 1st already my national final exam is in April 25 so the day is not away yet im not ready . so not ready .
anyway im miss my boyfriend nicholas joseph braun
here it is his photo

sadnite

well hello today is saturday i have a sleepover at tasya's cribs and there is pojan . astrd .ariana. prama. janice . arief. kenjiro .

yeah and you know i always love advice from pojan . he's like the best person to tell ur story too .

and i tell him about the new me .

well i dont really like who i am . now . i miss the old me . SO MUCH .

what should i do truly? any advice?no?okay.

yes im so confused. lost. and unstable . i need a vacation from this fuckin life.

get me outta here like now please.....

dear god .

can i stab my self and have my life back when im ready?please please god .

i wanna visit ur paradise . huhu :(

love is really hurting . confusing so much . make u wanna scream all the time . make u wanna cry so bad .

before love tear you apart they made you smile. happy. flyin so high .

then love take it away .

sorry when i post something that so random .

but right now i miss valdy like hell.

i always wanna cry everytime i remember him and all the things we do ...stupid right?crying over somebody who doesnt care about you . hm iknow im so stupid :"( well byebye .

just another random story

hello blogeeey
well im not posting lately in blog cause one blogging isnt easy . and you know i dont have any internet in my house. yet all i do bbm-ing and tweeting . witchis very un important but fun and refreshing so much.
but anyway i miss blogging a lot . so lot .
now i wanna posting again but the thing is i dont know what to post .
yeah just listen then, now you know im 9th grader witch i have a tons of think to do and think about and to plan .
like final national exam and its very shit.
so i have to sit 2 hour inside a room lookin at the shit and answer the damn question.
second things im worried about , is .... tadaaa my final prom or some ferwell party .
i still dont find the fun yet . this is not so fun .
well high school? no im not worried cause i have choosen my school already . payed already .
its BINA NUSANTARA INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL SERPONG .
yes im so waiting to go there with alfrida and my rizcamilia .
yeah but i reall wish that i could have one little convertation , one little last talk *say it with british accent .
hm with you know mr Arga Prayodhya Hidayat .
my school mate . *maaf curcol
he's a black lover . he's a metal music guy . he like ultra milk plain (colored blue box) . he born on Jakarta, July 27th 1996 . he's the last of 3 brother . his shoes size is 43 or 44 . he's BM242011 . he just cut his hair off on March 15th . and he is a real cutie .
well gotta run i tell you later about him in my next post >
papay love you :*

teen dilemma

teen dilemma .

believe me we're always in a dilemma .

but ali says just follow your heart cause heart never lie.

how could i trust my heart?seriously im unstable, and sometimes i drown in my own self even .

but truly dilemma is a friend of teenagers .

we've got to choose a lot of stuff before we even knew its right or wrong .

the most common problem in teens life is .lovelife.parentsfight.& backstabbing .

you only young once , be bad, break the rules,get caught, and make it count .

theres no foul as a teen,cause we were meant to make mistakes ,and learn from it,so one day we'll be okay facing wide wide world out there .

you know i've been feeling the life as a good kid,and a so bad kid.

like when i ran away from home, yeayea i feel free its so fun,no rules no parents.

but yet its not last,cause when i ran away, i have no life no future like i've been fear for such a long time .

i just starting to realized that life out there is not easy.

when im out there i feel free,but it isnt what i want,things i need i could never can afford,im not eat a lot cause i have no money.

and that is way to wrong living like that.
the best thing to live is to always remember that "everything has it own time " so you no need to push your luck too much .
the one person you should listen in this whole world is your parents,no matter how bad they are, no matter how you hate them so much,you must listen ! and you gonna be away from teens dilemma, not only when you are teen but for the rest of you damn life, listen to them and you'll be out of life dilemma .

c.r.a.p

crap crap crap ! life as a teenager is full of crap !

first of all i was sick this morning i was wearing a jacket,i know its not allowed but i'm sick,so?

and they yelled at moi !! fvck !

and later i was texting to my best friend tubagus ali sholahuddin and yet -_____-" im talking about you know him femmy oustrian widjaya or you just call him buja .

ali was the ony person that told me "you sould just be friends with buja dint make it more"

haaaa im in the middle of confused right now,he make it a lot worse --_____-- yeah CRAP but he's my best and he keeping it real for me .

i just one txting with him and i felt a lot better now .

my best rizcamilia she just have fight with her mother she got slamed to the wall and hit on her face CRAP(again) its just not fair. children of divorce is having a life that full of C R A P !!

jeezz i just cant take it .

so sadly i cant talk to god, if i could i will tell him

"dear god why you give a crap all over our pretty life!"

but as teenage what can we do?we still run our life under all rules,school rules,house rules.

rules = CRAP .

but still i have a different point of view about rules,kids now days definitely need RULES .

i admit sometimes we just out of line,the way we talk to the elder,the way act its so unproper .

but duh,we are what we are and that is all we can be -_____-'

any way done now i dont know what i've been talking aabout :p

its just how love is

we've been hurt a lot of time as long as we love.
but the real lesson of getting hurt its not that we should never get to fall at the same place,but the real lesson is that how we have to thnkfull bout how god still give us the true feeling among a bunch of people that lying .

things now days are definitely full of plastic trees,im so done of those fake people they are faker than the cafeteria cheese really.

im so glad i;ve been hurt a lot of time,its makin me a stronger person,its makin me a lot better person that appreciate feelings .
that from it they know how much we love them,from it they know how true our feeling is .

kalo kata gue ya hubungan anak muda jaman sekarang yang langgeng langgeng itu sebenernya bukan berdasarkan kepercayaan dari definisi sebuah hubungan seharusnya,tapi hubungan mereka kebanyakan didasari sama yang namanya cinta buta,yang ngerebut hak yang namanya kebebasaan.
cinta itu kebebasaaan, dimana rasa saling percaya itu ada ,dimana kita merasakan sebuah perjalanan hidup bersama dia dengan sebuah kebebasaan,sebuah perasaan aman dari segala yang harus dihadapi .
itu cinta bukan dikekang bukan dilarang-larang.
contohnya aja lo dilarang-larang kenalan sama lawan jenis .
hello lame .
itu gabener banget di usia lo yang sekarang ini kenapa juga lo harus berhenti ber eksplorasi sama dunia .
lo juga harus banyak mengenal orang entah itu cewe ato cowo buat menambah ilmu lo akan berbagai macam karakter manusia yang ada .
biar fondasi lo kuatt bukan buat 3 lantai ambruk tapi buat 50 lantai,alias buat seabrek masalah yang lo punya.
jadi saat lo udh mencintai dia dan yang dia bisa cuman bikin lo terkekang dan dia meerenggut kebebasaan lo itu namanya bukan cinta tapi rasa ingin memiliki.
dia cuman pengen memiliki lo,bukan pengen mencintai lo.
cinta itu rela,lo rela kok dia harus kemana aja yang penting itu yang terbaik buat dia dan lo percaya sama dia kalo dia bakalan terus mencintai lo,dan rasa percaya lo itu yang membuat dia juga percaya .
cinta itu juga gak berarti kita milik dia sepenuhnya ,justru cinta adalah melepaskan,memeberikan KEBEBASAAN .
dan yang penting di dunia ini saat lo mencintai lo harus dengan setulus hati .
inget karna dengan ketulusan hati lo,lo bakalan selalu bahagia dengan ketulusan hati lo,lo bakalan merasakan kerelaan yang sebenernya .
dengan ketulusan tuhan bakalan ngasih lo sesuatu yang sepadan dengan semua kesedihan,kesabarn dan air mata yang udh lo keluarn.
semua manusia yang tulus pasti hidupnya akan berakhir dengan bahagia.
lo harus percaya tuhan itu adil,dulu juga gue ngerasa tuhan nggaadil,knp gue gabisa kayak yang lain,trs gue mikir knp juga gue harus kayak yang lain,gue dikasih ini semua sama tuhan bukan buat dikeluhin,tapi buat disyukurin iyakan?
gue bersyukur gue gak terlahir cacat berarti gue masih berusaha seperti yang lain berusaha , coba gue dilahirin cacat?gue harus berusaha lebih keras dari yang lain hanya untuk bisa diterima.
sekraang gue udh ngerasain adilnya tuhan,gue ditaro diantara orgorg yg lebih dr gue bukan buat gue keluhin,tapi buat motivasi gue untuk berusaha jadi yang lebih baik.
tough situation wont last but tough people did.- bill rancic
right?
so start lo love what you have,start to love everything you have.
and never stop dreamin and hoping :) love is in our every breath love is every where you go.