piece of regret...

what am i supposed to do to make my momma proud?
im no perfect i know,i really wish i could be the perfect child for my mom, because she is the perfect mom for me .
mom if you read this one day . all im saying is sorry
for all the flaws that i have that always make you sad and disappointed, i never meant to do it.
im sorry for being such and idiot girl,but you have to know that i always listen to you mom.
all the things you said is remembered in my stupid head.
im sorry for maybe walking at the wrong path of life.
but i promise you that one day i'll make you proud of me.
im sorry for being a different teenagers than what you expected .
and now i really wish i could just cry so hard due to the fact that im such a failure.
now everytime i heard simple plan- perfect i burst into tears.
its hurt so much ...

hey MOM look at me
Think back, and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I want to do?
But it hurts when you disapproved all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for
You can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me.....


Cause we lost it all
Nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care any more
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's all right

im sorry mom .

i love you mom.
im sorry i cant be perfect.

february 12th,2012

hey guys

im thinking about start blogging again . i'm so tired . i dont know who i shud turn too beside this blog.
world seems just like never understand. this is may be just one of the most silly issue in the world.

but what else to do . we are just teenagers anyway, little problem affect us so badly . everything is just like the end of the world .
you know what its not. this is just the beginning . there's something out there just being ready to slap you in the face..... Hard

did you ever felt like so empty?like you even forget how it feels like to be hurt? let me tell you that's what growing up felt like .
that's what i feel right now... well im happy ... im sad also... normal just like i used to
but none of those feeling last too long .
its like when u start to be happy and then something sad come by. when you feel in grieve than something happy comes to you .
or its just the matter of fact that im no longer a kid? im now turning 16 .
by next year i can have my license . and when i turn 18 i'll be in college . leaving my mom and brother home .
time flew faster than roller coaster guys .
it felt like just yesterday im scream ing about going to my new school . entering high school.
and look at me now? im in the edge of school year .

let me tell you ...... you really don't want to grow up like what you said right now .
growing sure did causes a lot of pain . growing up is confusing .
since its something that you can so nothing about ...... just enjoy your time . as a KID its nice
cause you know what the good thing to be a kid is? you have home and adults to keep you out from this twisted world .