Selasa, 19 Juni 2012

let it be

biarin aja cinta emang nyakitin, cinta juga kadang nyenengin. 
cinta kadang bikin lo terbang, kadang bikin lo jatuh juga .
kadang cinta itu yang buat lo jadi satu, kadang cinta yang buat lo hancur berantakan . 
cinta itu emang penuh penantian, cinta itu emang butuh sabar . 
cinta juga butuh banget pengertian . 
cinta itu butuh kerelaan . butuh kebebasan . 
cinta itu gapernah jatuh sama orang yang salah, cuman kadang cinta jatuh kepada orang yg gatepat . tapi gasalah cuman gatepat aja . 
lo sakit nih gara-gara cinta? jangan nyerah buat mencintai orang.
jangan berubah jadi pengecut yang takut sama harapan . 
lo hidup karna harapan  karna lo mampu berharap.
salah berharap? nggak kita manusia .. cuman manusia yang gasempurna .
kita pasti berharap untuk diberi ketika kita memberi . 
tapi cinta yang bisa buat kita berharap dan cinta juga yang membuat kita merelakan harapan itu . karna cinta tulus itu ga bisa egois . 
gaada tuh istilahnya kita bisa bahagia garagara orang yang kita cintai itu bahagia sama orang lain . gue gapercaya sama argumen konyol itu . 
gue personally gabisa bahagia disaat orang yang gue sayang harus sayang-sayangan sama orang lain . gue gabilang GUE BAHAGIA . tapi gue supportive . gue mencoba untuk IKUT BAHAGIA . itu kenapa mahluk hidup itu memang munafik . kaadang kita emang harus diem dan nyimpen perasaan itu buat diri kita sendiri . kadang itulah yang terbaik ..... cuman ikut supportive buat orang yang kita sayang . kadang kita gabisa buat apa-apa . sakit rasanya karna kita gabisa ikut berkontribusi dalam kebahagiaan yang dia milikin . sakitnya garagara kita tau bahwa bukan kita yang bisa bikin dia seneng , bukan kita yang kabarnya di tunggu-tunggu, bukan kita yang di kangenin banget sama dia, bukan kita yang dia cariin pas waktu ada apa-apa, bukan kita yang tiap bulan diucapin kata-kata manis dengan embel-embel 'semoga kita tambah sayang-sayangan' itu cheesy banget tapi what the hell screw you i love it .  cinta itu yang bisa bikin kita jadi kampungan dengan membuat kita terbang dengan kalimat-kalimat gombal yang sering kali cuman bohong , atau sekedar kata selamanya yang gue tau sebenernya dia belum tentu bisa ada selamanya tapi kita seneng kan dengernya? love made cheesy line sounds real . love its such a juvenile emotion . tp screw you twice . we need a little crime in this life .   so ... i let it be.

just be fuckin honest .

please. just be fuckin honest .
lo jangan pernah bohongin orang yang sayang sm lo, kalo lo sayang sama orang lain lo bilang sm dia , bukan berarti apa , lo tunjukin lo syg orang lain bukan berarti sayang itu lebih dari sayang lo ke dia .
kalo lo punya mantan dan lo masih sayang sama dia , lo jangan ambil langkah buat jadian sama orang lain , lo tunjukin ke mantan lo kalo lo syg , selesain apa yg masih nyangkut di hati lo .
why god, ppl always hide their feeling? for good sake?! nu-uh hiding feeling doesn't change an effing thing .
well i post this i need to tell sumtin, i need a few ppl to be honest w/ me . about their feeling . i know its hard to be honest i sometimes cant be honest to my self .
now im facing a really hard situation .
gue cuman butuh sebuah keajaiban yang bikin gue percaya sama perasaannya si ... okelah kita panggil aja dia si bandel .
hmm istilahnya gini loh gue ogah jadi kayak romeo, udah bunuh diri ternyata julietnya mati boongan . kan bete .

its irrelevant you know .
how hard it is to be honest? c'mon ....
ppl u shud start to think . and control what's going outta your mouth especially the WAY YOU SAID IT  . yes imma girl . and it matters . SO MUCH .

a year ago in overrated happiness, today in total grieve

so its true what goes around comes around . life is one vicious cycle guys . i feel that
a year ago exactly at april 14th 2011 i was overjoyed that i have a new boyfriend. a perfect guy that just match me perfectly, we hardly ever had a fight . and i dont know what gone wrong its just felt right for me .
Fadhli Noviandi Wahyu . my beloved ex boyfriend who probably already have a life of his own with his new baby doll . and me? i am patheticly still so strung out about him .
is not that i cant move on and live my life . or its not like all i know is second best cause he is the best . i definitely can find another best . but he's my ex still . and we broke up on his demand not mine.
so last saturday is april 14th 2012 . and i feel . devestated . i miss him . but i can do nothing . the last time we met was at ali's birthday bash . we dont even talk , its like we were strangers . not even a bit of hello . if i cut off everything and left us alone in this world, silence its all what's going to happen .
its sad actually . we usually had that sparks between us. i usually hear laughter commin out from both of us . and now death silence creeping down our spikes.
i regret of how i didnt try to start the conversation. and how am i being so childish .
i wish i could be more mature. but it hurts. somehow i just never been in such a pain, so i failed to justify it.

i dont know ... i just miss him so much . 
he's my perfect match . everything that i want i written all over him . 
i hope he wont forget me . i hope one day he'll be back and ease all my pain . because he can ..................................... love you nyut . imysm.

lovey dovey dove love

i heard once said that, love is something that hide behind your eyes, with one glance everything will fall back again . 
and damn it ..... its true .
that love only need one glance to make it go back again ..... 
cinta itu adalah sesuatu yang bersembunyi di balik mata lo , dengan satu pandangan semuanya bisa balik lagi, semua perasaan itu . 
semua yang selama ini udah lo coba pendem , semua yang selama ini coba lo ga pikirin, segalanya yang selama ini lo coba buat ga pentingin . semua itu bisa kembali dalam satu pandangan . 
so here i am stuck in the same old love dovey dove love issue . 
what? imma normal teenagers . i am meant to fall in love with a lot of people at the same time . i am supposed to be this reckless throwing out my heart loving everybody .... 
until my one true love reveal.... right?
but it kills me ..... the pain . is killing me inside . but i dont mind, embrace the pain dude! embrace the feeling of hurt . learn from it . what doesnt kill you make you stronger . 
just lets say ... i think valdy's story is repeated now .
anyway im transferring school to Global Jaya ..... well just hope that i can survive there and i meet someone nice . and nicer ..................................... i wish 
no im just kidding .
anyway im so stressed out by the thought oh HIM ... yeah HIM . he really know how to make me sad seriously .... well its not exactly his fault . i mean he done nothing but nice to me , but a little bit of unacceptable tone in sentence drives me insane ... i hope this is just another silly crush .
by the way im listening to michael bubble - cry me a river which made me felt like MARIO HERMAN FAZARY is screaming right before my ear with this song . shidddddddd. i feel like i wanna kill my self . or simply just kill him from my head would've been no problem . 
i miss him . so much . hey dude how are you? long time no see . 
i dont know what im talking about right now . so random . and unorganized . im so screwed . and i NEED to kill my brother right now.... not really i love him actually . 
but what ever . 
but one thing you shud know i love CAHYAPITOL 
he's my best friend ....... today . 
i have new respect for him today . HUGE new respect . 
smurf you dude ... so much . 
im trying so hard right now to understand the life i have right now . 
hope i find my way straight .... SOON i need it . 
and my sanity too . it felt like im losing my in this world called reality . seriously . why can dreams become my reality . i really really want to live like inception . you know its so cool . how i can spend years and years in limbo and not aged at all in real life . 
but what eff my life is not some fraking movie. i direct my own life . 
seriously .. all i wanted is my life to be like FTV . with guys doing wonderful stuff for you . all i need is white roses ... 
story of my crappy life . 
so.............. Au Revoir . see you guys .