XXVI

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be lov ed,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

this is one of my favorite poems. i don't really know why, maybe because i can relate to it so much. 

my love for him is not actually in the dark, but it is now, since we have moved on to a totally new world of our own and nobody from this side actually know him. 

this poem is just crazy romantic, and i love it so much. its showing the other part of those grand statement of love, its not flashy or sparkly its just something you keep inside, that keeps you from falling asleep at night, but keep on dreaming 24/7 and it just carry you away. there is just something in your stomach and no matter how long it is you will never get used to the feeling of that uncertainty. 

i miss him, and every time i read this poem it reminded me of him. 

another poem i also love is by an indonesian author, its Sapardi Djoko Damono 

the tittle is 'Aku Ingin' means 'I want' 

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada..

its about a very simple love, it was loving someone who made you disappear, that their existence means your disappearance. 

it is simple because its in secret. 

it says in the poem that. the love is like a wood who loves the fire that that turns him into ash, and the love is like the cloud who's in love with the rain, which obviously means that when the rain in finished then there will be no more cloud. 

why do i even feel this way right? but i do..... so much. i wanted to write i miss him two thousand times, but nobody will understand what i really feel.