this is the first ugly truth that someone ever throw in my face, this is a bittersweet confession from the guy i liked. the first guy that ever said the truth about his feelings for me . that he didn't like me , that he sees me only as a friend. close friend.
which is good . its a start, for the first time i felt like being slapped hard. so hard i could hardly breath . at first i thought "this is just too honest" but its good. its the truth . there's nothing right when it comes to human. people lie you protested, people saying the truth then you hurt. the thing is sometimes when you already know something you just did not need to hear it out loud, because it hurts. already. no need to think about it or hear it again from another person.
in my case, it comes from the person i like, or care about. i don't even know how i feel about this guy . the only thing i realize is that i've been there before, i've felt that way before. this loser talks all the time about how i just wanna be with him, that he's fucking cute and stuff. and its frustrating because i know where this is gonna end, its gonna be just like me and valdy. all over again.
but still ......................... i can't stop feeling this fucking corny stuff. its so stupid. so stupid. it makes me feels like i need to change my BBM display picture every 5 minutes with those heart broken pict from tumblr so that he can read it and realize and maybe my story would end up just like in the movies. but it will not . life doesn't go that way. yes i have faith, and hopes that one day everything will turn out fine. but. sometimes our expectation is just too high. makes us a delusional.
i'm such a fool . but i like being his friend, at least. its better than be that person who looks at the back of his head from a distance. yeah i rather be someone who could acually hit his head.
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