a year ago in overrated happiness, today in total grieve

so its true what goes around comes around . life is one vicious cycle guys . i feel that
a year ago exactly at april 14th 2011 i was overjoyed that i have a new boyfriend. a perfect guy that just match me perfectly, we hardly ever had a fight . and i dont know what gone wrong its just felt right for me .
Fadhli Noviandi Wahyu . my beloved ex boyfriend who probably already have a life of his own with his new baby doll . and me? i am patheticly still so strung out about him .
is not that i cant move on and live my life . or its not like all i know is second best cause he is the best . i definitely can find another best . but he's my ex still . and we broke up on his demand not mine.
so last saturday is april 14th 2012 . and i feel . devestated . i miss him . but i can do nothing . the last time we met was at ali's birthday bash . we dont even talk , its like we were strangers . not even a bit of hello . if i cut off everything and left us alone in this world, silence its all what's going to happen .
its sad actually . we usually had that sparks between us. i usually hear laughter commin out from both of us . and now death silence creeping down our spikes.
i regret of how i didnt try to start the conversation. and how am i being so childish .
i wish i could be more mature. but it hurts. somehow i just never been in such a pain, so i failed to justify it.
i dont know ... i just miss him so much . 
he's my perfect match . everything that i want i written all over him . 
i hope he wont forget me . i hope one day he'll be back and ease all my pain . because he can ..................................... love you nyut . imysm.